so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
