Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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