Me too!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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