he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There's always time for handjobs
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.