Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.