Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
