Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.