Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.

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  (407): I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum. http://tfl.nu/t1ss
  Replies (27) Good night (810) Bad night (5115)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.

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  (859): I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver. http://tfl.nu/rtt7
  Replies (2) Good night (854) Bad night (2959)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.

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  (251): She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy. http://tfl.nu/vond
  Replies (15) Good night (6503) Bad night (723)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse

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  (740): she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse http://tfl.nu/30t8
  Replies (14) Good night (4835) Bad night (1131)
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  (631): View more from New York

  You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.

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  (631): You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it. http://tfl.nu/dj6o
  Replies (19) Good night (2304) Bad night (6676)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.

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  (314): He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary. http://tfl.nu/wb27
  Replies (8) Good night (1305) Bad night (3678)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.

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  (757): Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi. http://tfl.nu/br2l
  Replies (2) Good night (2082) Bad night (683)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.

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  (+44): Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked. http://tfl.nu/926l
  Replies (11) Good night (1168) Bad night (2044)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"

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  (210): when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug" http://tfl.nu/5kj7
  Replies (7) Good night (1682) Bad night (658)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.

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  (419): WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME. http://tfl.nu/mbtp
  Replies (11) Good night (1057) Bad night (1226)
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  (365): View more from

  As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.

  (1-365): View more from

  I was judging you.

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  (365): As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over. (1-365): I was judging you. http://tfl.nu/3tin
  Replies (3) Good night (3201) Bad night (568)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life

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  (608): Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life http://tfl.nu/ljpd
  Replies (15) Good night (720) Bad night (1170)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.

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  (702): I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up. http://tfl.nu/wodb
  Replies (2) Good night (1063) Bad night (300)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.

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  (207): I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there. http://tfl.nu/iapv
  Replies (5) Good night (1241) Bad night (309)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?

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  (541): I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had? http://tfl.nu/he5w
  Replies (4) Good night (387) Bad night (293)

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