My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.