i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Bring me that man meat
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
