haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
