He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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