The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize