I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
