Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
