I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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