she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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