Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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