Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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