My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
