is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
