next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
