To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
