come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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