Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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