did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize