Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
