I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
