I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
