The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
