My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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