me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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