Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
