There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Four minutes until I can fart!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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