Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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