i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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