brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
