I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
MIDGETS
????
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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