I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
