I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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