there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
