so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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