How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
