3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
