Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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