We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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