You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It was a blind-side dick pic.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
