No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
