just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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