Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
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Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
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The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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