never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
