people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
