i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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