We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
