What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
