No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
why is half of my head shaved?
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