Can Purell be used as lube?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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