Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
wow bdsm is so cute
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
