I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
