Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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