Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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