Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
